dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
