Plan B is the new Plan A
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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