Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
