Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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