But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
