He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
