So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
