that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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