Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
