Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
