what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
