I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Pants are for mortals
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