That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
