Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
