So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
