i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
