she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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