Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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