he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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