ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
His nipple licking is glorious
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