His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
