Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
