We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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