you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
