I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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