is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
