Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The best revenge is premature balding
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
