At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
