Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
