I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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