If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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