Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize