If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
