You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
