Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
