So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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