He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
