And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
