If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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