i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
