I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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