I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
