I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize