my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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