hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
