I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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