we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Farmville is her only friend.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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