Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
