What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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