I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize