Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
