Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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(765): View more from Indiana

There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(647): View more from Ontario

there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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(406): View more from Montana

she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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(360): View more from Washington

There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”

(206): View more from Washington

Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!

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