u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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