That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
