Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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