Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
