if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pappa wants mamma naked
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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