Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
