i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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