I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
