So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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