I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
